Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
Why did I quit World of Warcraft?
I had all these lovely images of freedom in my head. Being able to do what I want. Hanging out, not being locked into my chair at the computer all night, having the ability to do random things, etc… but that’s all they were, it seems… images.
I’ve quit the game totally. What have I lost by quitting WoW?
One might say that I lost friends, but do you think the people I raided with sit there and think, “Damn I wish Nick were here, I miss that cuddly mother fucker.” No, likely not. They’ve replaced me and moved on. Anybody who was friend enough to miss me is probably talking with me on MSN right now. That makes …. one person. Maybe two if I stretch it.
Amazing. Look at all I lost. It’s easy for someone to say that by quitting a game like WoW you actually lose nothing other than maybe a mediocre friendship, and after quitting I’d actually agree. Nothing lost and everything gained, right?
What did I gain?
My time is now mine. I don’t even think of logging in anymore. What used to be “Gonna check my mail” has turned into “I just really don’t care.” No longer am I strapped down to playing WoW all night every night religiously like it’s the only thing to do. But what do I do with my time? I play other games. I’m not about to stop playing games. I’ve been a gamer since as early as I can remember. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing that I’m playing games, but…
…It’s also not the other things I thought I’d be doing. I thought I’d be hanging out more. Working on things in the garage. Playing my brand new electric drums a lot more. Not really, though. I might as well be playing WoW.
I have a grand total of … two friends here. One of them is married and has a kid and works weird hours for the Sheriff’s office, so we don’t really have the same free time, and going over unannounced is basically crashing his life with his wife. We never really talk much, either, never asks if I’d like to hang out or lets me know when he’s gonna have free time. Granted, I don’t either, but I’m tired of doing that (and that’s a post for another time). The other friend I have goes to school after work usually, and has his own group of friends that he usually hangs out with and as time goes on, we seem to have less and less in common I guess. Maybe I’m just being hard on myself since I’ve been in a depressive downward spiral lately. The people I work with aren’t the type of people who I’d hang out with and are generally … well … bitches. When I think I’m making friends with them, I later find out they’re turning around and stabbing me in the back. Damn workplace politics. So yeah, my time is spent not hanging out with anyone with exception to the occasional movie on a weekend, which I thoroughly enjoy. I’ve learned I actually like hanging out.
Yeah, I could go out and make friends, but I’m not a social butterfly. I’m just now coming out of my cocoon, can’t really expect me to just go out and walk up to the first person I see and start talking. I’m not in school, so I have no peers to talk with and start hanging out with. Already talked about the problem with my co-workers. I’m not a bar hopper.
Yeah, I just bought a brand new set of electric drums, and they are COOL! But I have no room for them. In order for me to play them it’s a huge task to just get them in a position that I can play, and then putting them up is just as much a pain. Add to that I’m not very good anymore, I just get very daunted every time I play and realize how bad I am anymore. Yes yes, I know, practicing will fix that, but then I have to get them out and it’s just a recursive problem. /whine whine whine.
I have a truck I could be working on. a fucking nice 1965 Chevrolet C10 that I have high hopes for. I also have a 1984 Camaro that I’d like to fix up as a street beast. I have a mini scooter powered by a gas lawnmower motor that I have a new motor for and could fix up. The problem? I don’t know enough to do it myself, I don’t have the money to do it and on the weekends I’d rather relax then go out and work some more since I work hard (usually) all week. So instead of that I usually sit inside and play games. This is where we all realize that I’m doing this to myself.
And these are just small examples. When I think about it, I really feel like I quit WoW for nothing. I sit here and play other games and chat on MSN all day instead of going out and having fun like normal people do. Nothing lost, nothing gained.
Wow … I’m whining … and this post is not very cohesive at all. This is what happens when you type from your head with just ideas and not actually a planned post. I will stop typing now.
P.S. – I have other ideas for posts. Unfortunately they’re all just as self-loathing and depressive as this post. Maybe I’ll plan them out and post them. Maybe I’ll come up with better topics for a post. WHO KNOWS!
Posted in Gaming, Life | Comments (1)
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:42 pm
It’s extremely hard to find people to connect with in a place like this. Heck, even I find myself being excluded from certain groups around here. Most people just aren’t on the same wavelength as us, and while I disassociate myself with them, I realize that my challenge is to fit in with them while retaining my own identity. It’s much harder than simply mindlessly following the crowd.
Setting small goals and getting myself out there by trying new things is the way I cope. I actually do my best to stay off my messengers as of late to push me outside.