Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
I constantly ask myself what I am doing with my life and where I intend to go. In fact, I ask myself this question multiple times throughout the day, more than anybody should ever have to. It is depressing and not fun. Not at all. Well, due to some recent situations at work (which I will talk about some other time), I have decided to pick up where I left off. Well, decided to try, anyway.
Back in 2002, I decided to pursue my dream of becoming a game developer. I had graduated high school in ‘99 and never really pushed myself to do anything with my life. After some research and some inspiration from various sources, I found out about two schools that specialize in game development. Ultimately I chose to go to Full Sail Real World Education in Florida. The alternative was in Washington. I don’t do snow.
I didn’t want to blindly go to Florida though, dragging along a pregnant wife, without having an idea of what I was getting myself into. I did some more research and I managed to get hold of a handful of people whom had gone to Full Sail and graduated. One of which I still talk to today. He is actually what pushed me over the inspirational edge to attend Full Sail.
So off I went.
Fast forward a year and a half, and I am graduating from Full Sail with my Associate degree (at the time they had no Bachelor’s program). Not only was I graduating, but I was graduating with some very good friends whom I had worked hard with in order to complete some of the best games that the school had seen at the time, including Symphony of the Seven Rings and The Omega Initiative. I felt I had done well. My life was taking off. Next step … game industry! WOO HOO!
It didn’t quite work out that way. I came back home and got a job working with family and decided that would be a temporary job until I got a job in the industry, however I ended up getting comfortable and not putting my resume out there. That was my first mistake. I also was not making enough to pay my student loan. Second mistake. In an effort to make more money, I got a job with the company I worked at before Full Sail, however it still was not enough to pay my student loans.
Then, an opportunity fell into my lap. It was not a game development job, but it was a development job, and I figured that any programming job was better than no programming job at all, and it would help me get better at programming so that I would be able to do better on programming exams when I started sending out resumes. That job didn’t go so well. I mean, the job and pay was great, but … heh … the Feds were sort of getting curious about the company, so I figured that was my cue to pick up and go.
Fast forward a couple random jobs later and here I am. Due to things going on at work, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I came to realize that I am going absolutely nowhere with my life. I’m just … there. So, I decided to try the game development thing again. I have put out several resume’s and will continue to do so throughout the next couple of weeks to see what happens. I am concerned, though, as I am very rusty. I have not touched a piece of code in a long time, let alone game code. It is a scary world, and programming tests are not easy. Programming tests have to be passed before an applicant would even be considered.
I worry employers will see that I graduated 6 years ago with my degree but have done nothing to advance my career in that field. I worry they will see that I don’t have many projects, even at-home projects, under my belt and will throw my resume in the trash. Lots of things go on in my head that make me feel like this is a pointless endeavor and that I will forever be stuck just doing what I can to get by instead of being successful (what I consider successful, anyway) in life.
However, I cannot let that deter me. I will never know unless I try, and I am now trying, even if it might be way too late. I will practice, I will keep sending, and I will touch base with people I know. There has got to be a way in, a way for me to pick up where I left off and do what I always dreamed of doing.
Posted in Life, Work | Comments (1)
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
It’s never too late!